I've never been so disappointed in myself.
okokok let me elaborate. After going on a nice little jog* just now, I've had some time to clear my head and think about all of this.
The reason why I am so disappointed is because I couldn't pass english 1 at smc two semesters in a row. I struggled trying to get passing grades in high school so much that I thought I would really do better in 'college.' Well I went back to my evil ways and procrastinated and didn't give enough fucks, so now I'm paying the price for it. Smc says I am disqualified to sign up for spring semester because of my failing grades, so I applied to El Camino... the one place I swore I would never step foot on... (or is it in? whatever, anywaaays) I stressed out about it yesterday and yes even shed a few random tears (which Nikki made sure to embarass me about) But what is that going to do? I need to get my ass into gear and stop dicking around, I can't attend junior college all my life, and unfortunately I'm just realizing this now after a year. So yes, in conclusion I am going to TRY at school, because I know I can be smart, I JUST KNOW IT.
*By jog I mean a light sprint for a block then walking for about 3 blocks. I should also work on getting the mental strength of a runner because I can't run for shit. I need to get in shape so I'm going to start running a few times a week on the streets. Fuck the gym that shit's expensive I'm cancelling my membership today haha.
Oh Oh and another note, Dan said that his parents notice that I'm still kind of shy around them, which made me upset because I don't even know why I'm so shy around them, I usually get along with parents really well but for some reason they really intimidate me.... Just another thing on my list to work on I guess.
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3 comments:
Dude once you step on el co soil you'll see success everywhere! It took me a year before I actually woke up and took community college seriously, so it would only make sense if it took you a year too... because you can't be better than me...ever! I met Dan's parents the other weekend, why are you so intimidated? They made me a tom collin's and talked politics with me :) But seriously, you can do it!
im sorry to "embarrass" you about crying, i didnt mean to sound so insensitive. i was just trying to say a "no use in crying over spilled milk" kinda thing...you just learn from mistakes. school is very hard to get into (trust me i know) especially with our past, but these are all just habits. some are good & some are bad, you just have to train yourself & constantly be aware of wanting to change & things will change...easier said than done, but you know me & my belief in positive thinking :)
dude, i know i am sooo late on this post! i dicked around in high school and college but also knew to get my shit done cause i wanted out of LA and fast, so i fucked around when i could, but went down to bizness when i had too (procrastinating along the way too) i think being serious about school is important but there is a way to have fun too. i think i am a good enough example of having your cake and eating it too. and you know, i never really understood that damn expression cause like - when its your birthday, its your cake, and dont you like have a piece and eat it too? okay so im rambling. what i am trying to say is - nothing great is ever achieved fast and easily. you'll be able to do anything, you just have to want it bad enough and be okay with making mistakes along the way(cause thats the only way to learn). you can do it cause, you're brilliant.
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